Have you ever seen a five year old kid play with action figures? He’ll walk his tiny muscle-bound heroes across a tabletop or floor until they stop and fight, which usually consists of the kid smashing his toys together in imaginary combat. Walk walk walk, smash smash smash, repeat. Louis Leterrier’s remake of Clash of the Titans is like watching what goes on in that kid’s head. Stiff two-dimensional characters walk from set piece to set piece where they fight ever bigger and meaner monsters. Walk walk walk, smash smash smash, repeat.
* http://rapidshare.com/files/[...]/Clash.Of.The.Titans.2010.TS.x264.AAC-scOrp-fuzzyshare.com.m...
* http://rapidshare.com/files/[...]/Clash.Of.The.Titans.2010.TS.x264.AAC-scOrp-fuzzyshare.com.m...
Sam Worthington stars, and coming off his roles in Terminator Salvation and Avatar, it may now be safe to assume that Worthington is Hollywood’s new go-to action hero. If you’re looking to have something punched, stabbed, or blown up, he’s probably your guy. As Perseus, the demigod son of Zeus, Worthington is pure grit and machismo, going from fisherman to action hero in less time than it’ll take you to read this review.
The story takes place in the troubled land of ancient Greece. Liam Neeson plays Zeus (aka SparkleTron9000) who rules humanity from his throne on Mount Olympus, but mankind is getting tired of putting up with the gods’ crap. Apparently the problem with being an omnipotent overlord is that everything becomes your fault. Zeus, in his attempt to win back humanity’s love, listens to his brother Hades (who resembles a magical nightmare hobo) played by Ralph Fiennes. Hades informs the rulers of Argos that unless they clean up their act and sacrifice the princess, he’s going to let the Kraken play hopscotch on their city. Perseus has nine days to defeat the Kraken and end the tyranny of the gods.
Despite having an incredibly over-simplified plot (walk walk walk, smash smash smash) Clash of the Titans actually sports a rather coherent, if troubling, subtext. The gods, consistently associated with the bald eagle, have grown comfortable in their role as global superpowers. They sit in their palace of luxury allowing the rest of the world to scrape by, assuming their dominance isn’t threatened. As mortals begin to resent the gods more and more though, Zeus takes some bad advice from Hades (military-industrial complex), the ugly brother that he’s usually content to ignore so long as he does his job and stays out of the spotlight. Perseus and company are out to show the gods that they won’t be pushed around anymore. This becomes especially troubling when Perseus’ ally, the mystical turbaned Djin, self-destructs in his righteous fight against the bald-eagle-toting gods’ global tyranny.
So the bad news is that Louis Leterrier has butchered a classic film into mind numbing action garbage that stops just short of encouraging terrorism. The good news is that the action scenes are pretty cool, the 3D is really pretty (it’s not even worth seeing in 2D), and no one’s likely to pay any attention to the subtext in a movie this bad anyway.
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